Episode 10 took Drained Battery Society somewhere it had absolutely no business going: out on the water.
Peter Conway was joined by The Fabulous Beth P. and Kimberly Q. Delaney for the first-ever Yacht Rock Roundtable—a serious examination of very unserious questions involving smooth music, marina music, questionable song classifications, fake marine products, and three people who turned out to have wildly different interpretations of what Yacht Rock actually is.
This page is the official record.
Or, at minimum, evidence that it happened.
YACHT ROCK MOUNT RUSHMORE
There was one rule: no Christopher Cross, Michael McDonald, Kenny Loggins, or Toto. And because all of Toto wouldn't fit, no Donald Fagan either.
We wanted to make this at least slightly difficult.
THE FABULOUS BETH P.
Bertie Higgins
Boz Scaggs
Little River Band
Robbie Dupree
KIMBERLY Q. DELANEY
Gerry Rafferty
Player
Stephen Bishop
Bill Withers
Back of the mountain: Dave Mason
PETER CONWAY
Carly Simon
James Ingram
Little River Band
Patti LaBelle
Little River Band received two votes, which either establishes consensus or indicates that we ran out of people.
GENRE OR VIBE?
One of the great philosophical questions of our time:
Is Yacht Rock a genre or a vibe?
KIMBERLY:
A vibe that became a genre.
BETH:
Both. Agrees with Kimberly.
Beth holds only Kimberly's opinions most of the time, much like an intern.
PETER:
A vibe. Yacht Rock already incorporates too many different musical genres to be contained by one of its own.
No consensus was reached.
No governing musical authority was contacted.
THE ROUNDTABLE'S MOST QUESTIONABLE OPINION
“Africa” by Toto is NOT a Yacht Rock song.
Peter called bullshit.
For the record, the Yachtski Scale gives “Africa” a 93.
Peter would like the minutes to reflect this.
THE CONVERSATION WE SOMEHOW MISSED
One musical detour never made it into the conversation and deserves to be corrected here.
Robert Palmer's 1974 debut solo album, Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley, opens with one of the great three-song runs:
“Sailin' Shoes” → “Hey Julia” → “Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley”
Too early to be officially Yacht Rock, but absolutely worth listening to straight through at least once in your life.
THE MISSED OPPORTUNITY TO DESTROY AN ARTIST AND HIS MUSIC
Al Stewart.
Pretty much everything.
My God.
YACHT ROCK vs. MARINA ROCK
This distinction became increasingly important as the Roundtable progressed.
YACHT ROCK
Impossibly smooth studio musicianship, jazz and R&B influence, immaculate production, and at least a reasonable chance Michael McDonald is involved.
MARINA ROCK
Not Yacht Rock.
Music you hear on land at the dive bar next to the boat.
There is a difference.
We cannot stress this enough.
IF THE WORLD WERE ENDING...
Which Yacht Rock and Marina Rock songs belong in the musical seed vault?
Civilization has collapsed. Humanity may never recover. You get to save two songs.
Choose wisely.
THE FABULOUS BETH P.
Yacht Rock:
“What a Fool Believes” — Michael McDonald
Marina Rock:
“Right Down the Line” — Gerry Rafferty
KIMBERLY Q. DELANEY
Yacht Rock:
“Baker Street” — Gerry Rafferty
Marina Rock:
“Come Monday” — Jimmy Buffett
PETER CONWAY
Yacht Rock:
“Baby Come Back” — Player
Marina Rock:
“Thunder Island” — Jay Ferguson
Humanity may now begin rebuilding.
INTRODUCING YACHT ROCK TO THE MASSES
If you had one song to explain Yacht Rock to someone who had never heard it, what would you play?
BETH
“Steal Away” — Robbie Dupree
Yachtski Score: 94
KIMBERLY
“Sailing” — Christopher Cross
Yachtski Score: 94.5
PETER
“I Keep Forgettin' (Every Time You're Near)” — Michael McDonald
Yachtski Score: 98.5
For perhaps the only time during the entire episode, all three participants selected songs that the Yacht Rock authorities overwhelmingly agree are actually Yacht Rock.
Enjoy the moment.
ESSENTIAL YACHT WE WOULD GLADLY THROW OVERBOARD
A high Yachtski score does not mean you have to like the song.
Sometimes certification simply tells you precisely what it is you're skipping.
THE FABULOUS BETH P.
“Magnet and Steel” — Walter Egan
Yachtski Score: 37.25 — NYACHT
Beth's selection was vindicated by science.
KIMBERLY Q. DELANEY
“We're in This Love Together” — Al Jarreau
Yachtski Score: 80.75 — ESSENTIAL YACHT
Certified Yacht.
Certified overboard.
PETER CONWAY
“Babylon Sisters” — Steely Dan
Yachtski Score: 89 — ESSENTIAL YACHT
Peter understands what it is.
Peter still doesn't want to hear it.
ABOUT THE YACHTSKI SCALE
The scores on this page come from Yacht or Nyacht , which has undertaken the important work of determining just how yacht—or nyacht—a song actually is.
Think your favorite smooth classic belongs aboard? Check the score yourself at Yacht or Nyacht.
Yachtski scores are from Yacht or Nyacht. Drained Battery Society is not affiliated with the site. We merely use their findings to settle arguments and, occasionally, make them worse.
THE OFFICIAL YACHT ROCK ROUNDTABLE SNAKE DRAFT
No duplicate songs.
Yacht Rock and Marina Rock both allowed.
Personal taste encouraged.
Knowledge of Yacht Rock evidently optional.
ROUND ONE
BETH
“Southern Cross” — Crosby, Stills & Nash
31.25 — NYACHT
KIM
“Baker Street” — Gerry Rafferty
29.25 — NYACHT
PETER
“Ride Like the Wind” — Christopher Cross
93.75 — ESSENTIAL YACHT
ROUND TWO
BETH
“Key Largo” — Bertie Higgins
39.75 — NYACHT
KIM
“We Just Disagree” — Dave Mason
17.75 — NOT EVEN CLOSE
PETER
“Smoke from a Distant Fire” — Sanford-Townsend Band
76.75 — YACHT
ROUND THREE
BETH
“Cool Change” — Little River Band
30.5 — NYACHT
KIM
“On and On” — Stephen Bishop
40.5 — NYACHT
PETER
“Biggest Part of Me” — Ambrosia
72.5 — YACHT
ROUND FOUR
BETH
“Thunder Island” — Jay Ferguson
45 — NYACHT, BUT CLOSE
KIM
“Baby Come Back” — Player
58.5 — YACHT
PETER
“Hey Nineteen” — Steely Dan
85.5 — ESSENTIAL YACHT
FINAL ROUND
BETH
“Lido Shuffle” — Boz Scaggs
47.5 — NYACHT
KIM — 🏆 ROUNDTABLE'S DUMBEST CHOICE AWARD
“Him” — Rupert Holmes
50.5 — TECHNICALLY YACHT, BUT SHOULD BE ON A NO-SAIL LIST
PETER
“Reminiscing” — Little River Band
51.75 — YACHT...BARELY
THE OFFICIAL SNAKE-DRAFT PLAYLIST
Fifteen songs. Three questionable musical authorities. One playlist containing significantly less Yacht Rock than advertised.
THE FINAL SCORE
Five selections each.
Fifteen songs.
One devastating mathematical reckoning.
THE FABULOUS BETH P.
38.8
NYACHT
KIMBERLY Q. DELANEY
39.3
NYACHT
PETER CONWAY
76.1
YACHT
Peter would like everyone to know that this was not rigged.
Peter would also like everyone to look at the numbers.
THINGS THAT MADE PERFECT SENSE AT THE TIME
- The Deep-Cycle Marine Battery Check
- Possibly closing the Strait of MoreBooze
- The Fabulous Beth P. sneaking out for a mani-pedi
- Kimberly Q. Delaney preparing recipes from Milk Products Monthly
- Peter finding time for both a life preserver and a diaper change
- Gary, his 16 speakers, and his continuing but unfulfilled quest to “win” the marina
Context will not help nearly as much as you think.
THE SPONSORS WHO MADE NONE OF THIS POSSIBLE
The Yacht Rock Roundtable could not have happened without the financial support of absolutely none of these organizations:
Marina Mutual Insurance
Cap'n's Choice Marine Electronics
Commodore Casual
WakeMaster Bowthrusters
Horizon Yacht Brokers
SlipRank
Teak Envy Marine Wood Care
The Harbor Club Awards Committee
Dock & Awe Luxury Marine Accessories
Stern & Forster Marine Audio
Please do not attempt to purchase anything from them.
Several do not exist.
Possibly all of them.
PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE
Yes, there were witnesses.
Three microphones. Three opinions. At least one person who understood Yacht Rock.
We will allow you to determine which one.
NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS MUCH RHINESTONE
That did not stop us.
LISTEN TO THE YACHT ROCK ROUNDTABLE
Drained Battery Society — Episode 10
Three people sit down to settle Yacht Rock once and for all.
They do not.
Drained Battery Society
Barely charged. Fully opinionated.
And, for one episode, irresponsibly nautical.